Random Access Memories

So recently I went through a nasty breakup.

Friends of mine came down on both sides of the line. Some went with her, some to me. That is to be expected I suppose.

But what happened next I didn’t expect, even tho I probably should have.

You see, I had made the horrible mistake of showing weakness and looking like I needed attention (well, duh, or course I wanted some emotional support) to a group of people that expected me to be anything but that.

They expected me to be a strong alpha male, to act like nothing was wrong, and bury all my hurt.

And they pulled no punches in telling me this.

Those of you that know me, know that almost all of my friends are women. Partly because I find that women understand emotional needs FAR better than males do.

But in this case it was a woman that started this ball rolling on me, and it took me COMPLETELY by surprise.

What sideswiped me even harder is that I had comforted this very same woman more than once before. But it seems that what works one way doesn’t work the opposite.

The lesson from all this? Be much more careful who you show your emotional pain to. I decided based on this to cut my ties to this group altogether.

Which really sucks. I mean, isn’t this the entire reason someone might have friends? To turn to for support?

Well, as it turns out, these people don’t really see each other as “friends” in the first place.

I guess that’s my second mistake isn’t it.

**sigh**